Even though some wedding etiquette is well-known (don't wear white, people!), the reasons behind it isn't always clear. Not to mention all the things guests do but don't even realize is considered rude. Luckily, these wedding planners are spilling all the details for us.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
1
Don't show up early.
Getty
Anytime earlier than 30 minutes prior to the ceremony could create an awkward moment for the hosts if they're not ready. "It's better to wait in your car than go into the venue and risk stressing out the bride by seeing her before the ceremony," says Holly Patton Olsen, founder of Perfectly Posh Events.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
2
Don't show up late.
Getty
On the contrary, showing up after the ceremony's start time is also a hard no. "If you can't get there 10 minutes prior, you are better off not showing up," says Brandi Hamerstone, owner of All Events Planned. "Walking in as the bride (or groom) is walking down the aisle in incredibly rude and ruins video and photos that are being taken."
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
3
Don't record the ceremony.
Getty
Or take pictures. Most couples hire professionals to capture their big day for them. "An image of the bride walking down the aisle is quickly ruined when it's filled with guests in the background holding up their cell phones," says Kimberly N. Rhodes, owner of Hitched Events.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
4
Don't overshare on social media.
Getty
"Couples are now opting to either have a hashtag (think #TheMillersAreMarried) or choosing to have an 'unplugged wedding," says Briar Johnston, owner of Epic Events. And as a guest, it's your job to respect the couple's decision. Wait to share details (like the bride's dress or bouquet) until the couple gives you the okay too.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
5
Don't steal the photographer's shot.
Getty
This is especially frustrating during the family portrait session. "They distract the subjects and hence their eyes are looking at different directions instead of the photographer," says Agnes Neusse, owner of Neusse Photography. Her solution? "I usually politely tell the guests to let me go first, then I let them go."
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
6
Don't wear white.
Getty
This seems like a given, but it's worth repeating. "Nothing looks worse than standing next to the bride and basically matching her," says Hamerstone. It's the bride's day, so let her shine — plus, you have every other color in the world to choose from.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
7
Don't bring an unexpected plus one.
Getty
The only thing more frustrating than receiving an RSVP with two names, when only one was invited, is when a guest brings a date they didn't even RSVP for. Don't assume children are invited either. "If it's not clear, ask the couple if it's a family-friendly or adult-only event," says Lindsey Nickel, wedding planner at Lovely Day Events.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
8
Don't switch seats.
Getty
If you're not a fan of your table location (it's all the way in the back!) or who you're sitting with, it's best to suck it up and deal with it. You'll only be there for an hour or two (tops) and the bride and groom probably sat you there for a reason.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
9
Don't bring gifts.
Getty
Tifany Wunschl, etiquette expert at Gourmet Invitations, says most people don't know it's poor etiquette to bring a gift to a wedding and you should send items to the couples' home instead. This way, the couple won't have to figure out how to get boxes home at the end of the night.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
10
Don't talk during speeches.
Getty
Even if it isn't of huge interest to you, it's an important moment for the couple and the family member or friend speaking. Hamerstone says a good guest will put down their phone down, stop talking, and enjoy the moment with them.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
11
Don't make a spontaneous toast.
Getty
And when it comes to speeches, more is not better. If the couple didn't ask you to say a few words, it's safe to assume they don't want you to address their guests.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
12
Don't eat dessert before the couple.
Getty
Even if the couple serves cupcakes or other individual treats instead of cake, it's tradition to wait for the couple to have their cake cutting moment before you dive head first into your sugar coma.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
13
Don't be rude to bartenders.
Getty
"The bar closes to keep guests at their seat during dinner service or to keep costs down for the couple," says Hamerstone. That's why you shouldn't expect to get served the entire time you're at a wedding. Complaining to the waitstaff won't help and could cause drama for the bride and groom.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
14
Don't get drunk.
Getty
This should go without saying, but creating a scene by drinking too much is never okay and only takes away from the happy couple's day. If a bartender (or a loved one) cuts you off, it's probably for the best.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
15
Don't take the enterpieces.
Getty
Even though at some weddings the flowers are given away to guests afterwards, you shouldn't assume that's always the case. Sometimes, the vases or candles are rented and the bride and groom could get stuck with an unexpected bill if you take items without asking.
Lauren is a senior editor at Hearst. She was previously the senior editor at WomansDay.com and the home editor at GoodHousekeeping.com and HouseBeautiful.com. Her book club, ramen, and jean jackets are a few of her favorite things.